Monday, January 12, 2009

How did I get here?

Last night was one of those rare occurences where I found myself questioning my commitment to parenting. I know that sounds rash, but mind you, this was my thought process at three in the morning.
It all began with the dreaded sound of bare feet padding down the hallway towards my room. Number two (child number two, not potty number two) had decided to grace me with her presence. Fifteen minutes later the even more horrific sound of another set of feet (this time little, footed sleeper clad feet) could be heard padding down the hallway...again, in my general direction. Number four, somehow subconciously honed in on the "party" going on in mama's room and roused himself from slumber so as not to miss it.
For the next twenty minutes I was forced to listen to the cheerful chatter and giggling of two of my little dearies...a sound that would typically warm my heart, but not at three thirty in the morning.
Now, you may be wondering where Chad was in the middle of all this commotion. I found myself asking that same question, whilst cursing the man in my mind for leaving me all alone to deal with this dilemma. Chad was in Seattle for the whole debaucle. Hmmm, a well planned trip. It's as if he knew something was a-brewing.
To make matters worse the raquet (not sure if it was the kids joyful noises or my yelling) woke number three who then also decided to join us.
At that point I felt it a good time, since I had everyone on my bed, to explain that during the nighttime we sleep. When it is dark outside we should be the rest of the world...not keeping mama up.
Number three quickly called me out and responded "Not in China. People in China are not asleep right now".
Touche, my little lady, but now is not the time to get smart with mama.
I immediatly responded by telling the children there would be no more talking or I would set them out on the balcony in near freezing temperatures to sleep...without a blaket.
My empty threats did not work. The kids know me too well.
Finally I left the room, peacefully and calmly mind you. I would hate for you to think that I have a complete lack of self control. I retreated to the girls' room in hopes of finding some peace and quiet. As I lay there, I could hear the parade of little feet padding against the floor towards me. I tried my best to act like I was asleep, and discreetly opened one eye just to see if they were buying it. There they were, all three of them, standing over me...just peering...waiting.
Frankly, this little episode freaked the crap out of me. It reminded me of something out of Children of the Corn, or some other horror flick, where the devil children stand peacefully and serenely surveying their prey, and then suddenly and ferociously pounce.
I did not give my little ones the chance, I immediately summoned them all back to my bed...where they could be on eye level...and ordered them to lay down and be quiet. Initially, they weren't, but after an hour and a half of ridiculousness their eyes became weary and droopy, and finally...sleep.
I checked the clock and saw that I had exactly two hours before I'd have to get up to get kids off to school.
Fast forward to 6:56am...four minutes before I had to wake. BRRRRING, BRRRRING, the phone ringing startled me awake. I checked the clock and saw it was not yet seven and immediatly became panicked. I rarely ever get phone calls before seven.
I scraped myself off the bed and ran to the phone, preparing myself for tragic news. Ironically, on the other end was the sweet little voice of a little girl from Quinn's class at school asking if Quinn could play. Honestly, I was so dazed I can't remember what I told her. I vaguely remember something about karate and after school, but that's about it.
Only now is it occuring to me that it was freaking 6:56 in the morning and she was asking to play. One question, girlfriend: where are your parents?!?!?
Just FYI, she called back two more times.
I went back to the bedroom; not to sleep, but to rouse my little brood for school. Thankfully I was able to drive to the school and back without breaking any traffic laws or causing any accidents in my drousy condition.
Now, here I sit, trying to muster up the energy to get dressed and showered. If I could I would just sit at home in my PJ's all day long, but I can't. I've got a date with the dentist...mostly likely for a root canal. Just the cherry on top of what could be my longest night ever.


Emily N said...

What a delightful sounding night. Tonight will be better, I hope. I can't imagine a night like that while being preggers- I wanted to sleep constantly. Good luck. Oh, and you're clever. I'd read your blog even if I didn't know you.

Malea said...

I agree with Emily, I'd bet you and Chaucers' wife would get along in parental stories and word play. Two words; Ambien and NyQuil...when I was a smug parent of one, I probably would have sicked DCFS after anyone who suggested that to me. Good luck, wo-man.

Kedra Simpson said...

I shouldn't tell you this but I just got done reading this post to Chad (your hubby) as we sit on the couch in our pj's after a long nights sleep....he/I owe you big time!! thanks for letting him come visit us. You are an amazing mother!!! I would night have been as nice as you were :)

Oh, and I agree with Emily I love reading your posts!

Anonymous said...

I love reading your blog and how you always are very REAL!! Thats why I love ya! You make me laugh and I really hope you get more sleep tonight!

Ashlyn said...

a root cannal oooh i hate the dentist what a perfectly perfect day jk i cant wait till saturday when i get to come up and see you guys

Jodi Simon said...

nice to hear something is going on, even if it isn't something wonderful. thanks for sharing.

6deans said...

Your post was entertaining as sure know how to write. I just read on Facebook you are having a GIRL...Yeah for you :)