Ode to a barstool.

Dear barstool,

Oh how I love thee. I saw you the other day in my Pottery Barn magazine and it was love at first sight. It was an unlikely match as I despise all things bananas, but when I found out you were made from banana leaves it did not matter. Love knows no bounds, no color, no race nor fruit.
But sadly our union cannot be, at least for now. You see, dear stool, you cost a pretty penny and I have none. But fear not, friend with clean lines and meager lumbar support, true love cannot be hindered.
Until then, my love, you shall occupy my thoughts constantly. I shall imagine the way your buttery yellow hue will contrast nicely with the gingery hard wood floors upon which you'll sit; the way your simple and uncomplicated lines will accentuate the island around which you'll float.
My love, though it may not be right now, I WILL find a way for us to be together...and it WILL be beautiful.

Yours truly and forever (or until I find a barstool I like better),
Erika
xoxoxo

Look who joined the family.

...little alien dude



...and little clown



...don't they look happy in their new home?

Guilty Pleasures

So, this morning after dropping the kiddies off to school, I sped over to Wally's to return a some items and pick up a few things. As I proceeded to the check out and started unloading my "few necessities" I found myself a little embarrased...might have been the Miley Cyrus CD, uh-hum, I picked up for the children, might have been the two packs of diet Docksta Peppa and diet Docksta Peppa with cherry...none of which were on my list of "things to buy".
Consequently, I forgot the Minute Rice which was on the list.
Anywho, as I stood there waiting, praying the bagger would hurry up so that, heaven forbid, no one I knew got in line behind me, I realized that I have quite a few skeletons in the closet...guilty pleasures as it were.
I have decided to come clean, to lift the burdens that weigh me down and share those things I find blissfully and utterly joyful, that may otherwise be repulsive and/or shameful by others standards. Contain your scoffs and scorns...you know you have 'em too. Here goes.


1- Miley Cyrus (while I may criticize her for dating an underwear model four years her senior...I do enjoy a little GNO and Rockstar here and there. My new fave song...Party in the USA...just try not to dance when you hear it. Which brings me to number two).


2- Dancing around the house. (Though I once considered myself an enigma on the dance floor, I am no longer comfortable sharing my moves with the general public. But that doesn't stop me from dancin' it up in the privacy of my home).


3- Zak Efron ('scuse me whilst I mop up the drool. Oh come on, you know you all have wondered if his dad is as hot as he is).


4- ICarly (This show has made me cry from laughing so hard. It is better than any "grown-up" show on the air currently, methinks. I have even caught Chad watching and laughing).


5- Peter Cetera (That mans voice can stop me dead in my tracks. He is so buttery..."I am a man who will fight for your hona'...I'll be the hero that you're dreamin' off...that's what I'm talkin' about).


6- Popping things (like pimples, boils, clogged tear ducts...my current fave. Hey, don't hate).


7- Soda (and not just the "grown up" kind. I loooooooooves me some root beer and orange and grape flavored carbonation...proabably more than any other drinkable liquid known to mankind).


8- Ramen noodles (proudly I have passed this love on to my children. I know, not very appetizing to those with a refined palate, but as we all know that is not me...refer to number 7. BTW, oriental flavor...it's the only way to go).


9- Chocolate and peanut butter melt (this concoction began as a childhood delicacy which I still love. Recipe: First, melt a boat load of chocolate chips...preferably of the milk chocolate variety in the microwave. Once smooth and liquidy add in a ton of peanut butter. Mix and enjoy by the spoonfuls. Might I add that I have also passed this love on to my kiddies).


10- Backyardigans (Yes, I own the CD and listen to it even if the kids are not in the car. My personal faves: Boinga and Eureka. Again, might I add, that these fictional characters have some of the kick-i-nest dance moves ever. I could add in an eleventh guilty pleasure of "staying up after everyone's in bed so I can learn the Backyardigans moves" but might be a little redundant...refer to number two).


11- People magazine (it is the most reliable source for all things celebrity gossip I'll have you know. Plus, they always throw in a few "legitimate" stories from real life to make you feel like less of a worldly schmuck. Besides, it also serves as a good cover..."I was reading in People the other day...ya, I bought it because it had this amazing story about a child who can't grow... Oh, and it also has a celebrity crossword puzzle at the end...BONUS!).

There are plenty more to go round, but I'll just leave it at that for now. I should probably ease ya'll into the world of Erika.
I would be curious to hear about YOUR guilty pleasures. NO, I am not trying to make myself feel better...okay, maybe I am just a little.

a few IMPORTANT things i forgot

So, I'm actually hiding out in the toilet as I write this post. As a sidenote, I am not currently in the process of using the toilet, just posing to...it's the only way I can get the kids to leave me be for more than thirty seconds.
That in mind, I best be brief, the kids will surely catch on to my scheme.
The past few weeks have been busy and as such, I have forgotten to pay tribute to some important goings on.
Let me remind you that generally this time of year is where I start having my annual melt down/freak out. Why? Because July just so happens to be the birth month of my eldest two children as well as my anniversary. Essentially a constant reminder of how old I am getting. Surprisingly, there have been no psychotic/neurotic breaks...thus far (must be the meds, or possibly that I've been so busy with a newborn that I haven't had time to think about how old I am getting...but rather how fat I am).
Anywho, back to point of the post. This summer has been a little hectic and I failed to acknowledge a few special events that occured.
First, my darling daughter, Quinn, turned nine on July 25th. We just so happened to be in St. George for the occasion and were able to celebrate with cousins galore. It was a very pleasant treat. We decided to go to the park where there was plenty of space for the plethora of children to run amuck...a great idea until a rare and unexpected Southern Utah thunderstorm decided to pay visit. Sadly, or happily, depending on who you ask, we had to hurry the festivites along, but not before Quinn opened her many wonderful presents and an impromptu two liter soda guzzling race took place. I forget who won, but man was it fun to watch a bunch of big boys chug ridiculous amounts of pop, only to pay the price afterwords...thankfully, no vomitation occured...cause then we would have had an impromptu up-chuck contest. I have a hard watching others heave. The festivites concluded with the mack-daddy of all water fights...thanks Tayona and Max. Guess the water falling from the heavens was not enought. Thankfully, I had a nowborn to shield me from any surprise attacks. No matter, again, it sure was fun watching everyone elses surprised faces as they were struck with water bombs from every direction. All in all, the day was a success.
July 27th was my anniversary...thirteen years of wedded bliss, or blur rather. Chad and I spent the special day getting all hot and sweaty...painting the basement apartment (get your heads outta the gutter). Chad surprised me with dinner and with my most favoritest snack in the world...herbed brie and baugette. My mouth waters just thinking about it.
Finally a list of other noteworthy events that occured, but that I don't want to write about right now: Avery's dance recital(FYI, it was the day after Rowan was born and I checked myself out of the hospital early so I could attend...crazy, I know. Unfortunately, the hospital wouldn't let me check myself back in after the recital was over). Carter's belt promotion (sadly my karate knowledge is still meager and all I know is that his belt is purple). Our family's first trip to Lagoon (Carter hated it, Quinn was indifferent, Avery loved it, Beckham was happy just to pick gum off the sidewalk. Best $150 dollars I ever spent...not).
Here's to a great and fun-filled summer. Though I look forward to the structure and free babysitting the school year offers, I am a little sad to see my kiddies go. It was fun staying up late and getting up even later.

Families are Forever...deep breaths.

This past Saturday the kiddies had the priviledge of walking in the Days of 47 Children's Parade. From what I understand this is a unique opportunity and the dearies will most likely never walk it again, at least not as a primary child.
Being the "awesome" parents we are, Chad and I decided to make a big deal of it and get a hotel downtown (really we just knew we would never make on time, and figured our odds were better if we were only two blocks away...but we don't need to tell the kids that).
We spent the eve of the parade swimming in the hotel pool and taking the kids to Trolley Square for dinner. It was good times. There were no near deaths or mishaps at the swimming pool and the kids actually sat(I use the term loosely) and ate at dinner. It almost felt like we were on vacation.
After dinner we did a little window shopping, while Beckham tried to steal something from every store we visited. In an attempt to avoid being arrested for shoplifting we decided to leave Trolley and go back to the hotel to let the kids swim a little longer before bed. We also hoped this little plan might wear the children out.
This ploy worked for the older three, but immediately backfired. In the process of wearing out the children, Chad and I had also worn ourselves out. Consequently, physical exertion seemed to have the opposing affect on number four. As a weary Chad and I lay in bed a newly invigorated number four came charging into our room. Chad and I are still baffled by what may have caused Beckham's spastic surge of energy...it is the eighth world wonder to me.
Eventually the kid fell asleep, but 7:30 came quickly and we were all quite groggy and grumpy...not the way I wanted to start our "special" day.
We made it to our wards gathering spot LATE of course, despite our best efforts, and proceeded to wait another forty-five minutes until it was our turn.
Some things I learned about the children in that time: One, the kids are not unlike gremlins in that they do not like sunlight...at least not when they have to sit in it for forty-five minutes with nothing to do. Two, the kids, unlike gremlins, SHOULD be fed after midnight and in our attempt to make it "on time" completely forgot to feed everyone breakfast. Three, I am glad that water does not multiply children as it does gremlins...refer to number two.
Finally it was our turn to strut our stuff. One thing Chad and I did remember to do was bring the wagon and a ginormous cooler full of water...both of which saved our bacon.
As a sidenote, our float was an amazing replica of the new Draper temple which was floating in the clouds. The temple was hooked up to hydraulics which allowed it to rise above the clouds and lower back down again. On top of the temple was attached a bunch of balloons, two hundred to be exact, which went along with the floats theme that "Temples will take you UP where you belong".
As I said, it was finally our turn to take to the parade route. The kids' dispositions seemed to improve slightly at this notion, but were still in need of improvement. The six blocks we walked seemed like six hundred in the blazing heat and I couldn't help note the irony of the situation. Here I was with Chad and all of the dearies, marching to the tune of Families can be Together Forever, with the temple right in front of me...sort of. Meanwhile Quinn is throwing a major tantrum in the wagon, the baby is screaming in the stroller and Beckham is throwing his balloon, for the hundredth time, on the hellishly hot street in attempt to pop it. I am sorry to admit it(but you know I will anyway), but at that particularly sweltering moment in time the notion of "forever" made me...umm...a little anxious, to put it nicely.
Thankfully by the time the cameras were on us the kids were so stroked out by the heat that they were over their gremlin phase and happy to smile for the TV.
The children were happy to find at the end of the route and after much effort of being pulled in the wagon, all of the festivities awaiting them: bouncy slides, a firetruck spraying refreshingly cool water, popcicles, FOOD...
It was a wonderful end to the day, except for the part where we lost Quinn. And after receiving some sustenance and hydration the kids seemed happy and grateful for all that had happened. I think Chad and I were too, but we are not in any hurry to do it again anytime soon.
And just for the record, I do "want to be with my whole family" forever, even if they do drive me nuts sometimes.


Hmmm. We actually look fairly pleasant in this picture.

Happy Birthday...First Fruit of My Loins.

Then: 6 lbs. 15 oz., 19 1/2 in.


Now: 65 lbs., 4 1/2 ft.

Well, in approximately one hour and twelve minutes my first born will be eleven years old.
I can still remember the day Carter was born. It was a Sunday. Chad and I were living in student housing at the U. That morning we went downtown to attend a session of Music and the Spoken Word. Then we went to church and spent the remainder of the afternoon just hanging out. I had been having contractions for most of the weekend, but because it was my first, I guess I didn't realize what was really happening. By that evening I was ready to head off to the hospital. I was at a five when I got there at 7:30 and had the little darling at 11:02. I remeber thinking that Carter looked liked a miniature version of Chad. He was such cute little peanut...bald as cue ball, naturally.
Now here I sit, nearly eleven years later, wondering where all the time went. Sure, I have hundreds of memories from the past eleven years with Carter...his first tooth, potty training, his super hero phase, shoving a rubber ball up his nose, cracking his sister's head open (it was on accident...sort-of), first day of Kindi-garten, his baptism etc. But still, where did the time go.
I've said it before and I'll say again...I wish I could have savored the time a little more...enjoyed the ride. I wish I would have spent more time watching and listening rather than speaking. I wish I would have spent more time cuddling rather than cleaning. I wish...
I realize that life must go on and my babies can't stay babies forever, but that doesn't make watching them grow older any easier.
All I can do is enjoy life in the moment and when I do feel the urge to speak, or clean, maybe I'll just cuddle my big, eleven year old boy instead.
Carter boy, I love you so mucho. Thank you for being such a good son and brother. And Happy Birthday.

Update

So, it's been two weeks since the little peanut arrived...an interesting two weeks. I know that in ten or twenty years I'll look back on this time with fondness, but seriously, if I have to remind one more child to "sit down" or "be gentle" or "stop poking the babies eyes" I might have to check myself into the looney bin.
The following conversation/dialogue took place last night. Mind you the following conversation takes place every time Beckham holds the little dear.

Beckham: I wanna hold the baby. I wanna hold the baby. I wanna hold the baby...
Mom: OKAY BECKHAM! Can you be gentle?
Beckham: I gentle.
Mom: Beckham, BECKHAM! No touching the babies eyes.
Mom: Beckham, BECKHAM! Stop pinching the babies ears.
Mom: Beckham, BECKHAM! No hitting the baby on the head.
Mom: Beckham, BECKHAM! No clawing the baby's face.
Mom: Beckham, BECKHAM, BECKHAM! STOP SHAKING THE BABY. YOU'RE GONNA GIVE HER BRAIN DAMAGE. Okay, buster, you're done.
Beckham: I gentle, sob sob, I gentle, sob sob, I gentle, sob sob...

And just FYI, while I have been sitting here posting I have had to remind mother's two and three to, "stop fighting when you're holding the baby", "sit down", "two hands", "support her back", "do not try and color while holding the baby"...

In closing, I feel it necessary to assure all my family, especially Chad, that my mental state although noticeably irritable, is in fact stable.
But, if you happen to catch a white mini-van on the news pulling an O.J. you'll know who it is and what exactly she's running from.