Monday, February 23, 2009

Things I never thought I'd say as a parent.

I think we have all had those moments where we've stopped dead in our tracks and thought...did I just say that?
Funny, how as parents, we find oursevles saying things our parents used to say to us, that we swore we'd never say.
Funny, how we say things we should probably never ever say...or maybe that's just me.

Here's a top ten list of things I've said (quietly or aloud) that I never thought I'd say.

1- Do you need medication (something I recall my mom asking me)?

2- Keep it up and your sleeping in the garage (something I recall my dad saying).

3- If you want anymore brothers and sisters you better shape up (kinda mean, but it really gets 'em thinking, ya know).

4- Try that again and my hands gonna be talking to your heinie.


6- Your breath smells like really, poo.

7- Where were you raised...a freakin' barn?

8- Quit brushing your privates with that.

9- Quit playing with your're gonna break it.

10- Do that again and I'll staple your buns shut.

Nuturally there are plenty more to share, but that's for another post. Just curious, what are some crazy things you've said to your kids?

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Blessed Sabbath

Today is a blessed day; not only because it is the sabbath, but because I found my camera cord...HALLELULAH.
I knew if I held out long enough it would turn up eventually.
It is a sabbath day miracle.
And for those of you who keep asking, yes, I will get pictures of the house up ASAP.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Top 25 Reasons Why You Are My Valentine.

1- You bring me cupcakes...just because.
2- You love Norman Gentle too.
3- You agree that Jude Law and Dave Beckham are two of the most beautiful men to ever walk the earth.
4- You bring me home Barbacoa when you stop for lunch.
5- You bring me home cream soda when you run out to the store.
6- You like spending time with me and the kids.
7- I can't sleep when you are out of town.
8- You support my preoccupation with my current condition.
9- You take me out for steak and loaded sweet potatoes.
10- You thank me for making dinner...most of the time.
11- You rub my belly and talk to our fetus.
12- You play light sabres with the boys.
13- You tell our daughters they are beautiful.
14- You tell me I'm beautiful.
15- You eat my food even when it's not the most appetizing.
16- You help the kids with their homework.
17- You let me blog...even though it bugs you...a lot.
18- You are friendly to everyone.
19- You make the kids burritos when I don't feel like cooking.
20- You tell me when my hair looks terrible in the back.
21- You read stories to Avery.
22- You take Carter to karate and guitar.
23- You pick up Quinn's medicine
24- You sit with Beckham when he won't go to nursery.
25- You are my best friend.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Passing Gas.

Before you read what I have to say, allow me to explain where it all stemmed from. Today I observed the following situation take place.
Quinn and Avery were about to get into the tub, but prior to doing so Quinn "passed" a little somethin' somethin'. What followed was the scene of the two of them laughing hysterically about the whole thing.
That gots me to thinking...

What I have to say is of no great importance, in fact, if I had any class I wouldn't even be bringing up the topic. But, inquiring minds want to know.
What makes passing gas so funny?
Not so much funny to me (although I have been caught off guard by the occasional squeaker and broken a smile, I must admit) but rather to my little dears (even my innocent two year gets in on "the act". In fact I have witnessed the little dear entertain himself by "forcing" a toot, then laugh about it, only to reapeat the processs over and over again).
Seriously, what is it? Is it the honking sound that's produced? Could it have something to do with the body part from whence the honk originated? Surely it is not the odor.
Nevertheless, nothing seems to trigger a bigger smile or deeper laugh out of my little ones than production of an air biscuit.
What's more, it doesn't necessarily have to be the actutal creation of a ripper-rooni. For example songs about the deed..."beans beans the magical fruit"...and the ever popualar arm fart get almost as big a reaction as the real deal.
I cannot understand it. Truly it really is not that funny and yet we have all found ourselves giggling about it at one time or another.
Apparently my small mind will never be able to explain this phenomenon. IT IS the eighth world wonder to me.

Friday, February 6, 2009

House Update.

Don't get too excited...I still haven't found my cord. Sorry, Britt...please be my friend still.
Nevertheless, I do have house news. Where do I begin?
As spring and warmer weather approach, I am in full panic mode. Why, you may wonder? I'll tell you.
In recent weeks it has been brought to my attention that living on a big empty field oft times results in unwanted visitors I mean rodents and creepy crawlies. To my disappointment this fact came to fruition sooner than I'd hoped...actually, I was hoping in would never happen, but...
A few weeks ago whilst giving some friends the very grand tour of our unfinished basement, one of these said rodents made a very shocking and surprising appearance. Naturally, I hi-tailed my heinie upstairs and swore never to go down again. I called the pest people and they were nice to come out right away to set traps. The kiddies were enlisted as the resident trap checkers. And to their morbid delight were pleased to find a very dead mouse in one of the traps the following day.
None of the other traps were ever set off, and I thought I we had nipped the pesty issue in the bud...not so.
Two days ago as I was following my morning routine of making the dears a very filling, and balanced meal of Carnation Instant Breakfast, I noticed a small black speck in the bottom of the drawer. I shewed it off initially...chocking it up to a stray peppercorn or oreo crumb.
But as I watched the dearies slurp down their breakfast, I began to worry that with every gulp they were filling their little bodies with liquid Hanta. I immediately ripped the sippies from their hands and threw them in the sink.
Upon closer investigation, I realized that what I had seen was not an awol peppercorn or runaway Oreo crumb, but was in fact a bonified mouse turd. I realized too, that it was not only the sippy drawer that had been tainted but also the drawers that housed all of my cooking utensils, knives, baggies, plastic wrap and pot holders. I was thoroughly disgusted and frankly, felt quite violated. How long had we been using these tainted items?
I cleaned out all of the drawers; sterilized them and all their contents and then called the pest people again.
They came out and upon some investigation, found some surprising things. They discovered a hole in the foundation, which served as a throughfare from the outside into my sanctuary. They also found several openings in the back of the cabinetry which served as the entrance to the our virtual rodent buffet.
They set more traps and advised that we "fill those holes"...thanks.
Chad went to the hardward store and purchased some steel wool and the other necessities he needed to do the job.
The following day, Chad left for Palm Springs. He informed me on the way out the door that he had left one hole open so as to lure the offending critter(s) into our strategically placed "death traps". His reasoning: that he didn't want any of them running off dying in the walls...gross. Thanks a million honey.
Needless to say, I was not happy with this charge he'd left me.
It's been two days and I am happy to report that no traps have been set least that I have heard anyway. And no, I haven't bothered checking the traps. I plan on re-assigning this charge to Chad when he gets home.
While part of me hopes that this will be the last of our mousy problem, I know that it most likely isn't...the breaks of living by a field.
And as if this perpetual pest problem isn't enough, I have been told that come spring and summer we will most likely find ourselves foot to face with all manner of snakes.
I cannot begin to tell you the spectacle that will take place if I run into one of these creepies out int the yard, let alone find one slithering about in the garage, or heaven forbid, inside the house. Just thinking about it gives me the heebies.
Anywho, I'm sure there will be further posts documenting my first encounter. I can hardly wait.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Fight FOCA

Hello friends and bloggy peeps,

I am not usually one to force my ideals and/or opinions, but when it comes to children, or in this case an unborn child, I have a hard time sitting back and letting the chips fall where they may (especially when I am currently serving as host to a fetus).

Also, this is my blog and I am free to say whatever I want, right? So here goes the spiel.

Stepping on soapbox now (if you are not fond of political discussion, you may leave).

Currently, the government is in the process of trying to pass a horrible piece of legislation called FOCA, otherwise known as The Freedom of Choice Act. This Act seeks to make abortion a fundamental right. It seeks to eradicate any and every restriction on abortion nationwide, both on a state and federal level.

I don't know about you, but the thought of abortion becoming an unregulated right scares the living crap out of me. I know that in my current position I am not able to do much, but I can at least make my voice heard by signing a petition against FOCA, which I have done already.

I just want to encourage any of you visiting to do the same. And spread the word amongst your family and friends. It is so simple and takes literally seconds to complete. Just go to and sign the petition (I have provided the link in the upper left hand corner of my bloggy...for your convenience). Even if we are unsuccessful, which I don't think we will be, at least we can say we tried.

Kay, stepping of soapbox now. Good night.

P.S. I know the song says "I fought the law and the law won", but I really don't think this will be case in our situation...I am confident of success. Nevertheless, I kept the song, regardless of it's message, because I don't know of any song with the catchphrase "I fought the law and totally kicked it's can"...maybe I'll write something myself. Anywho, just pretend that's what my boys from The Clash really are singing, um-kay. Thanks, kindly.